February 2012
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This is my coping mechanism: Nic Cage Cocktail →
braiker:
davetotheross:
This is hilarious. I would also add orange juice, teeth, jet fuel, and john travolta’s face.
vegspice:
I’m trying to come up with a Nic Cage cocktail. Components so far:
skull-shaped ice cubes
tequila you get from a bottle in mexico with no label and stuff floating in it
crushed red hots
curacao
grand marnier
natural ice light
everclear
kimchi
small...
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Miss Piggy and who?
In a conversation with my sister the other day, I called Kermit the Frog “Mr. Pig” on accident and then I died laughing. I’m actually typing this from the other side. Because I died laughing.
(It was really funny.)
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So glad someone finally asked this question.
bakerybitch:
does crying burn calories
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Making my famous "penis" cake! →
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Planned Parenthood: Open Letter →
caro:
Breast cancer has ripped through my family so violently that I’m pretty much guaranteed to get it in a pretty nasty form down the road if I haven’t already managed to get mauled to death by rabid howler monkeys. But I have a good job, great health insurance, and an awesome doctor who is already helping me a lot with regard to prevention and early detection. A lot of women aren’t lucky...
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January 2012
39 posts
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I just tried using Liam Neeson's speech from the...
Amazon Customer Service Rep: Sir, we're very sorry but your package won't ship until the 16th of September unless you upgrade your shipping.
Me: I don't know who you are. I don't know what you want. If you are looking for overnight charges, I can tell you I don't have money. But what I do have are a very particular set of skills; skills I have acquired over a very long career. Skills that make me a nightmare for people like you. If you let my package go now, that'll be the end of it. I will not look for you, I will not pursue you. But if you don't, I will look for you, I will find you, and I will kill you.
Amazon Customer Service Rep: I'm sorry sir, but you're going to have to talk to my sales manager.
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MURK AVENUE: I FOUND ICE CUBES 'GOOD DAY' →
murkavenue:
CLUE 1: “went to short dogs house, they was watching Yo MTV RAPS” Yo MTV RAPS first aired: Aug 6th 1988 CLUE 2: Ice Cubes single “today was a good day” released on: Feb 23 1993 CLUE 3: ”The Lakers beat the Super Sonics” Dates between Yo MTV Raps air date AUGUST 6 1988 and the release…
January 20th, 1992: National Good Day Day!
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Noted!
I love hearing from my cousins because they’re all funny in their own special (and uniquely specific) ways.
Today I got an email from my cousin Eric. Instead of starting it with a greeting of some kind (like “Hey!” or “Hi!” or “What’s up?”), he began with, “Note I said the brown COW!” and then went on to other things, never again...
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Alan Hanson: The Hard Things →
This is so beautiful, it took my breath away:
And you will cherish those with all of your heart because your heart is worthwhile and has grown larger than cities and has learned to exclude anything that does not match its sincerity.
Read this whole thing. Read this whole thing right now.
lieslieslies:
Recently a soft and astute human being told me that a positive side to a bad experience I...
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Pump It Up!
damngina replied to your audio post: Starting this day off right.
YES
I played this about 50 times today, G! It works for me, it really does. Glad you enjoyed it, too!
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